Crocus painting

I’m still frantically struggling artwise. It may not seem so, but I am.

I’ve spent some ample time sketching and drawing, doing contour work, splashing paint and it still feels as if I’m slopping through mud.  I suppose I am in the low part of the creative cycle and will need patience and perseverance to rise again. Patience doesn’t come easy for me, especially when I have  a new book of artists in hand and see what amazing talent and excitement and original creativity are happening in the art world! Then I “intensely dislike” the slushing here in my mud pool!

…a little colour in mud…

crocuswatercolour

Watercolour on Fabriano artistico paper HP, 30x23cm (11,8″x9″)

A while back Lindsay posted some of her comments which I found a great idea;  sometimes there is such valuable info and support in the comments which we miss out on.  I’m going to follow her lead and post some comments of my previous post. From these comments it is clear how many/all artists relate to these feelings of frustration, understand the creative struggle and recognize their own share of lows with personal experience and bits of advice here and there. These are the things I learn from on my daily creative journey…

…..”the nice thing about things forgotten is that they come back again quickly, and one has the chance to change a thing or two about them”… said Gesah.

…”Sometimes when work shows a little struggle in the birthing it only makes it more pleasurable to see. I learned that from a painting I did that when I looked at it I could only see the struggle. A viewer told me they loved it BECAUSE they could see the struggle which gave it much more drama and excitement than the ordinary pretty picture it might have been without the struggle”…said Jana.

…”sometimes those ‘tough love’ approaches do us the most favours…” said Cathy

…”like anything else you have to warm up first. If I’ve not been on my bike for 2 months, I am shaky and breathless just going down the road – but after a couple of rides, I’m back in the saddle. The same with drawing for me – if I’ve not drawn for a while, I do the most clumsy, embarassing drawings until I get my eye back in again”… said Carole

…”sometimes our brains get in the way of our making”…said Maureen

…”I really learn when an artist shares the process she has gone through. We can all sympathize with those times when the creative juices seem frozen”…said Annie

…”I have a tutor who echoes in my head in the same way :>) when going through a bad patch on the degree and being very nervous of him (he was very acid and didn’t suffer fools gladly) I was was overworking the paint. Each time he walked by he said ‘put it down (the paint) and leave it ALONE’, ’round the class …. back to me …. and he’d say it again and again! It worked”…said Vivien

…As far as I can tell, for a certain type of artist (of which I am one and I think you are, too), it’s always a process of learning, losing the way for a time, relearning, picking up new materials, re- finding old ones, circling back to old themes and concerns, recalibrating, rethinking, refocusing. It’s a lifetime thing. Or so I think. I try to be accepting of the process, as dispiriting as it sometimes seems”…said Laura

…Art doesn’t come out in an even stream, but we go backward and forward and through all kinds of loops and spins”…said Bill Fulton

…I guess those things work like when you have a bad hair day – YOU see it very well in the mirror, but everybody else thinks you just look like you always do”…said Nina.

…”Sometimes what seem to be harsh words sink deeper and do good even if they can feel soul destroying when they are spoken”…said Jeanette

…”I can empathize with what you said. I know when I have not painted or drawn for an extended period of time, there’s a little reluctant anticipation….kind of like the sensation of jumping into cold water…but once in…. it feels good”…said D Prizzi.

…”But painting, like riding a bike, will again come naturally”…said Desirée.

(a recent comment)…”these things definitely do come and go in cycles, don’t they? One of the things that is always hard for me to remember is that the cycle moves more quickly if I still show up and work every day. (There’s a good book about this that I should probably re-read — “The War of Art” by Stephen Pressfield.)”…said Turningturning

Back to basics

Painting this “fennel salad” yesterday made me realize how easy it is to lose some skills when they are not constantly excercised. Like our bodies, they become soft and flabby, sluggish and lazy and it takes work and discipline to get them back into shape. Such is the state of my current painting skills.

Painting done in watercolour on Fabriano artistico HP extra white, 30x23cm (11.8″x9″)

…fennel, pear and onions

fennel

Not actively painting or drawing for more of two months had a paralyzing impact on my creativity, self confience and hand-eye coordination. I could clearly feel en see it in this little painting above. My wrist feels stiff and my hand feels disconnected from my brain. Or maybe it is the opposite;  my hand being too connected to my brain, restricted by reason and not able to take  its free course. I clutch my paintbrush in an iron grip and lock my jaw in frowned concentration. I zoom in on details and am afraid of taking risks. I hesitate on choice of colour and paint hesitantly with  the tip instead of the stroking the whole brush.

Trying to do a waterscene painting, resulted in a complete catastrophe. It made me think of my professor years ago, who told me in first year graphichs, I couldn’t draw.  So, remembering his “cruel-to-be-kind” teaching, I took some cheap pilot black ink and drawing paper and my chair and took off to the river this morning. It was time to once again,  heed the professor’s words of years ago and get back to basics. Here is one of the drawings I did by the river this morning.

If  interested, the rest can be read and seen over at Watermarks.

…with sticks and stones…

rivermarks3-3-11-2009-3-54-12-pm

pilot black ink on drawing paper, with natural materials, found on the ground.

…drawing tools…

drawingtools1-3-11-2009-1-05-50-pm

Shadows

A recent conversation:

“…I live in the shadows. Or so it feels. A few years back I was blooming in the sun. So it felt. Now I’m living my life in the shadows. Of my computer. Emails. SMS. MSN. Facebook. Twitter. Blogs. Websites. I am now recognized through the style of my writing and not by my voice. Sadness is felt  by the stucture of my phrases and not seen in my tears. Happiness is seen in my exclamation marks and not heard in my laugh. The truth is guessed by my vocabulary and not heard in the seriousness of my voice.  I have become deletable. I am speaking less and writing more. I am hearing less and wondering more. My voice is growing softer and the shadows wider…”

Sketch in moleskine with rotring pen and watercolour.

…deep talk...

tea

Contour lines

When one’s mood is a bit off centre, contouring may help. It doesn’t help the mood, but it helps the drawing.

Stalking the cats with a pilot pen, just doing lines, not trying to achieve likeness, keeping the pen on the paper and the eyes on the subject. It helps a lot to loosen up.

Pilot pen, waterbrush in sketchbook.

…contouring the unwilling…

catscontour1

catscontour2

Fish

We had snow yesterday. Not very normal for us to have snow and so much of it, so it’s a big thing. Even bigger for me…what does a South African know about snow? I know when an elephant is going to charge… Last night at nine I even drove to the train station in the snow, forgot a little bit about brakes and speed when I got to the roundabout and slid “gently” into the curb. No problems, I was the only fruitcake out there. Off to the train station again early this morning, better equipped with common sense and humility and even dared turning off to buy a fish or two. I wanted to paint fish on this beautiful snowy day, inspired by Jeanette’s fish and then Katherine’s fish a while ago. I skidded home (safely) and took out those fish.

From top to bottom:  Dorade grise, Truite rose, Sardine bretonne. Done in watercolour and pen on Fabriano artistico HP.

…found in the snow…

fish2-1-6-2009-2-00-54-pm


A river to discover

The swans were back this year after 3 years of absence – a quick sketch in the moleskine done in pencil and back home worked over with gouache. I have never worked with gouache and after buying a beautiful sketchbook (Baie de Somme by Laurent Somon – Ronan Olier) done in gouache, I wanted to try it too. See some of Ronan Olier’s work, which I love! I find it a strange medium and feel very stupid with it, which resulted in a completely overworked effort.

…swans…

loireswans

The Watermarks project stirred up a desire I’ve had for a long time, but which always got pushed to the back of my list. Discovering and researching the Loire.

Living right next to it, it forms a big part of our every day life. In summer I stress about the extreme low level of the water and in winter I stress about being flooded away rooftop and all. In winters, it welcomes the gray and embraces the cold and I want to run from it, but it’s hypnotic powers keep drawing me to it, to the mystery that envelops it. In summer, I revel in its blue water and noisy birds and green foliage and crazy busyness.

One of my projects(I still have to run into the others..) will be to trace the Loire back to it its origin, snaking alongside it down to where it finally joins the Atlantic ocean in the west.

If interested, continue reading here…